When you have been married for a very long time, divorce can be a drastic change for you and your entire family. It can be challenging to go from being partnered to living solo after a long-lasting marriage. Yet for many spouses who divorce after decades of marriage, the divorce has been a long time coming. You may have felt that your marriage was no longer working out years ago, but delayed your divorce for a number of reasons. Some spouses wait until their children have flown the coop, or spend years separated without actually ending the marriage. 

There are specialized divorce concerns for older adults leaving long-term marriages. Everything from working out alimony to dividing substantial marital assets and untangling complex financial situations can be a little different. It is important to work with an experienced divorce attorney when you are seeking to end a lengthy marriage. 

Things to Think About When You Are Ending a Long Marriage

In a long-term marriage, you and your spouse likely settled into a pattern of life that is now changing. Some special concerns you should be aware of include: 

It has become a common trope in movies and music to portray a wealthy person who gets married and subsequently divorced losing half of his—usually the subject is a man—property to his ex-spouse, regardless of the fact that he owned most of the same assets at the time of the marriage. While such a cliché situation is technically possible under the law in some states, the reality in Illinois is generally much different.

Fair Does Not Always Mean Equal

Property division following a divorce in Illinois can be rather complicated, as the law requires marital assets to be divided according to what is equitable and just. While this could result in a clean 50/50 split, there is no guarantee. Rather, the specific circumstances of the marriage, divorce, and expected post-divorce realities must be taken into account to determine the appropriate allocation of assets.

Yours, Mine, or Ours?

The other major point that television portrayals of divorce get tend to get wrong involves what property should and should not be subject to division. In Illinois, only assets that are considered to be part of the marital estate are to be included in the process, not absolutely everything owned by either spouse. The law provides that marital property is any property acquired by either spouse during the course of the marriage with very limited exceptions for gifts and inheritances. Generally, this also means that any property that a spouse owned prior to the marriage is not part of the marital estate. There are ways that separate property may become marital property, and such situations can be very complex.

While every marriage is different, and the paths that couples take will vary, experts have identified five signs that can show that a divorce may be likely. For many, it can be hard to see some of these signs without taking a step back to reflect. If you are considering a divorce but are unsure if the time has truly come, see if any of these red flags are appearing in your marriage.

Look for These Signs, Then Decide on Your Next Steps

It may be one or both partners who are causing marital strife, but the following challenges to any marriage may be difficult to overcome. Here are some warning signs to look for in your marriage:

• You no longer express appreciation – The small acts of kindness may be the first to go in a relationship that is headed for an end. If a couple no longer shows appreciation or gratitude toward each other, this may be a sign that the relationship is slipping away.

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For various reasons, the rate of divorce among couples over the age of 50 continues to grow. While many divorces have specific characteristics in common, some issues become more pronounced for older couples. Child support and child custody arrangements may not be as common, but couples can face more significant challenges related to spousal support, division of marital property, retirement savings and Social Security, and complex financial situations.

Common Issues When Couples Divorce Near Retirement

With the complexities that older couples face, it is essential that you work with an attorney who is experienced in dealing with gray divorces and the issues they may face. Here are some of the more common issues to consider during your divorce.

Retirement savings and Social Security – For couples approaching retirement, assets such as 401(k)s, IRAs, and pensions take on greater importance. The portion of the retirement funds acquired during the marriage are divided equitably during a divorce, not solely to the spouse who earned or contributed to the accounts. Divorced parties may also be entitled to Social Security benefits based on their ex’s work history. However, your marriage must have lasted for at least ten years, and the benefits are not eligible to be divided until two years after your divorce is finalized.

When a marriage is ended, some of the most far-reaching decisions revolve around finances and assets. Without a valid prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, the two parties or the judge must agree on whether alimony, also known as spousal support or spousal maintenance, will be paid by one spouse to the other. There are different factors to determine whether alimony will be paid, how much the payments will be, and how long the support will continue.

Spousal support is not a required part of the divorce agreement. There are three main avenues for one spouse to receive alimony in Illinois:

• Through a valid prenuptial or postnuptial agreement. This agreement can cover the amount of the payments, the length of payments, or simply if payments will occur.
•  A settlement or agreement by the two parties during the divorce proceedings. This can be negotiated directly by the two parties in an uncontested divorce or by their attorneys during divorce negotiations.
• A petition of the court by one of the parties.

Determining Whether Alimony Will be Paid

If there is no spousal support agreement in place, the following factors are taken into consideration when determining if spousal support is to be paid: